Beats me. I sure haven’t kept up with our original purpose: two psychotherapists losing weight and helping each other with it.
I’d gained enough weight to enter another weight group in wrestling if I chose. Everything I’d lost has found its way back home. My jobs are all sedentary: online counselor, adjunct faculty (online), and mystery writer. My butt has expanded to the edges of my office chair.
I got to the point where I wasn’t feeling embarrassed or guilty any more. I was feeling ashamed, and that’s never a good thing. So instead of throwing another pity party, I decided to join Weight Watchers again.
Of course I lost weight the first week. Doesn’t everyone? But now the real test begins. Can I, will I?
Yes, I can. I know that, because I’ve done it before. But “will I” is the real question. What makes food more important than my health? More important than looking as good as I can?
I’m a vegan, so I do eat mostly healthy foods. Not always, because as I say, “There’s no meat in beer or potato chips.” Even with healthy foods, and the zero points foods in WW, I still eat too much. I know it’s a problem that I want to feel FULL instead of SATISFIED. There’s a major difference.
I do have some physical challenges: spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease, and osteoarthritis in almost all my joints. So what? So do a gazillion other people. I don’t feel sorry for myself about those things. However, I do hate the limitations I have. Hiking is a painful chore, but one of my favorite things to do. Swimming is super exercise and feels wonderful while I’m doing it, but afterwards I’m down for the count. Even plain old walking causes me to have to lie on my side for a while. I’m averse to taking my pain pills except at night for sleep and in the morning to force my bod to move. During the day, lying on my side can serve the same function as a pain pill.
Another challenge is Sudden Onset Hearing Loss. I went to sleep 12/27/17 hearing fine in both ears, and woke up 12/28 almost deaf in my right ear. I’ve seen doctors and audiologists and now wear a hearing aid that doesn’t do too much. The things that affect me more than the hearing loss are pretty severe tinnitus that drives me batty and poor balance. Still, I find I don’t want to complain, because I’m so grateful that I hear well out of my left ear.
“I am one lucky bug,” to quote Eddie Murphy’s character in Milan.
Okay. You up to date? Good. Then I hope I can continue this weight loss adventure and I invite you to help hold me accountable.